Yeah, I know. You, too, right?

I wish I had more time for art and stuff so I can put things here. I have made some fun things, but I don't seem to have the time to get them up here and usually by the time I finish them I have given them away as gifts or something. It makes me sad that my DA account is so neglected. College has devoured my SOUL!!!!

HOWEVER, I do love it here and I'm enjoying myself overall. Classes suck but they're not so bad. Next quarter will be crazy, especially since I GOT INTO THE INTERPRETING MAJOR!!!! YAY! It made me so happy. So now I have ASL classes and I'm even signed up for fencing which excites me to no end. I need the exercise and I miss it terribly. I never seem to be able to make it to fencing club anymore.

Life in general is good. My birthday has come and gone. I'm 19 now and I got such wonderful things from everyone. A hummus cake made of just hummus and pita bread. I was so excited. And my favorite gifts were the hand made coloring book from Sephy ^_______^ and the wonderful 5 gal tank and female betta fish my girlfriend gave me as a surprise... which I shoulda seen coming <3. Oh well, I'm oblivious to gift hints, I really am. Anyway, the fish's name is Nyx and she's beautiful and adorable and I love her to pieces.

I've seen a few good movies. I finally watched Coraline which I liked, but they pronounced Oregon like "Or E Gone" which people here on the east coast do and it drives me crazy LOL! Also I saw Ponyo (subbed, which is infinitely better) and it was really cute and 100% ridiculous. I went to see Toy Story 1 and 2 in 3D with the gf and some friends a while back, too. It was a lot of fun. I think I'm just catching you all up on the stuff I've been up to XP But yeah, things have been good.

That's all my happy stuff.

But you know me.... I always use this to rant. And rant I shall.

Have you ever been in any sort of relationship (friendship, dating, etc) where you felt like you were giving your total all but the other person wasn't... or wasn't giving their all in the way you do? I feel like I'm putting a lot of effort into one relationship I have (I'm not mentioning what sort or with whom) and I'm available and everything I should be when I should be, but when I want the same back I have to work around a schedule or be fit in. When we're actually hanging out everything is really great, but I'm the one who has to make the time, and even then we're usually busy doing something. There's never just time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the company and I really can't stand it. Sometimes I just want to sit down and watch a movie and enjoy hanging out with this person, I don't ALWAYS need to be doing something.... but that never seems to be an option. And when I WANT to hang out they're not available or won't make the time, but when they want to hang out with me I find a way to work it out if it's possible. I say "Want to go have dinner?" and they say they can't, they made plans, or they're not hungry. They say "Want to have dinner?" and I'm always willing to go out to dinner with them. "Want to go do this or that?" and I always find the time. But when I ask they never want to or can't. As much as I love this person and enjoy the relationship I have with this person, I feel kind of used in a sense.... not terribly bad, but maybe a little taken advantage of, or taken for granted is the best way to put it. Maybe that makes me stupid, but I like hanging out with this person. I don't want to be so irritated by this but I really am and it sucks. I don't know what to do and I really don't think this person knows they're doing it.... but I don't think I can change it. I don't want to bring it up because I feel selfish about it and they're such a good person otherwise.... I'm always so conflicted. UGH